Another thing I know how to do, Hank, not to brag, watch YouTube.

Did I make that entire video, so that I could eat one piece of pizza on my diet? ..Maybe.

And if you’re not going to eat five sheets of toilet paper while discussing the political situation in Nepal, well, I’m going to.

That was actually recorded on Wednesday, January 3rd, but you’d have no way of knowing. I believe that’s what they call ‘movie magic!’

I got up, I brushed my teeth, I took a shower, I changed clothes; I can’t show you that because I worry that the blinding beauty of my naked body might result in Nerdfighters getting retinal damage, but trust me, it was awesome.

Nerds like us are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff. We don’t have to be like, ‘Oh yeah, that purse is okay,’ or like, ‘Yeah, I like that band’s early stuff.’ Nerds are allowed to love stuff, like jump-up-and-down-in-the-chair, can’t-control-yourself love it. When people call people nerds, mostly what they’re saying is, ‘You like stuff,’ which is just not a good insult at all. Like, ‘You are too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness.’

Then we get to the hotel around 2 am, I sleep for a few hours, and wake up with ‘500 Miles’ in my head, grateful and astonished to have the readers and the brother I’ve lucked into. Hank, I’ll see you on Friday.

The van is very comfortable and we have neck pillows, but it’s impossible to sleep in there because one, it’s not a bed, and two, there is an Xbox, and so all we ever do in there is beat the holy living crap out of each others pixels.

I can’t say it to you in person because, you know, we’re brothers, but I’m really proud of you. I’m really proud of The Fault in Our Stars, I’m really proud of what you’ve done with this book. Every review has been fantastic, everyone has starred it, everyone on Amazon loves it, and I love it. You’ve accomplished a really great thing here.

I’m going to go play with that guy. It sounded like I was talking about God, but I was talking about Henry, he’s upstairs.